We Said Goodbye

October 22nd, 2012 // No Comments


Not the usual kind, knowing we would never see each other again. No, it was the goodbye to the past so that we could enter the beginning of an old relationship.  We would see each other again, be with that wonderful person we had not been aware of. We had come to a place in our lives we did not know existed for us.

Our relationship dates back to 1959 when we fell in love unaware what lay ahead. Over the more than fifty years we experienced the pain and ecstasy such relationships tend to endure, should they reach that apex of total understanding and union. It did for us, secretly flourishing despite our ignoring it.

The heart has its reason, but the mind and life’s obligations interfere, insisting on rights and wrongs, injustices and slander, deception and unfairness. We yearn for the perfect pasture where the grass is always green and has no weeds. There are many other good reasons as to why we part from the one we had once loved and believed we would never leave. As time passed we got over our anger, grudge and separation. We had strolled through many a pasture only to find that the grass we wanted did not exist and that the perfect beauty was in the eye of the beholder.

We got over the hurt years ago and forgave each other the pain we had inflicted. It fell off like snow in a warm room leaving us in the comfort of familiarity that once again turned to love and even passion. Not the ecstasy of a chance encounter or that strike of lightening that catapults us off the ground. Our passion flowed from the natural expansion of the feelings we had always had for each other. They had grown in the darkness of our pretended indifference and brought forth flowers we could not see, did not want to see and acknowledge that something was amiss.  But our hearts nurtured them and yearned to pollinate and produce the wondrous fruits called love. That love everlasting dug its roots deeper and deeper into our souls where it thrived and kept pushing to the fore.

Our chance encounters sensed it, but the clouds of our resistance hid the sun. They had accumulated a density our eyes and minds could not penetrate. In our impeccable wisdom we rejected the feelings as foolish sentiments springing from sexual desire. But it was not that at all. It was pride and guilt and our obligations to the partners we had joined in the meantime. Duties had to be fulfilled and besides, it was so much easier to ignore the whole thing. Didn’t we have fulfilling lives and had we not accomplished deeds we were proud of? But the heart is a stubborn creature that will not surrender. From time to time it rattles the bars of its cage. It knocks at the thick wall we keep reinforcing, and torments us with longing and loneliness. It pounds against its enclosure and wears it down. We feel regret and fantasize with what-ifs.

We’ll never know who set up the scenario that landed us in each other’s arms again so that our lips could meet for hungry kisses. Was it destiny or had our hearts finally broken down the wall? All we know is that unforeseen circumstances guided our path to a crossroads that had no signs. We did not need them. Feeling the other we knew that we had arrived, right there in the middle of the road we were taking to some destination that no longer mattered.  Actually, we forgot where we were supposed to go and did not care.

Surrounded by the miracle flowers that had finally escaped their captivity in their search for the sun, we landed at the harbor our hearts had yearned for. The green grass was free of weeds. From now on we can always find it again. No need to leave home or break other people’s hearts – people we care for and who count on us.  Our hearts can dwell there whenever we feel the desire to spend some moments of exultation. Our island is called “Imagination.” The heart is free to roam the world and create the setting that suits our mood and satisfies our longing. According to our desire the sun always shines unless we wish to see the full moon. The weather is never too hot or too cold, and the beauty of spring does not fade.  On that island we are always young and in love, free of fear and pain.

Staying there permanently would destroy the magic. A ship called “Life” must travel. We move this way and that, always carrying our treasure island with us. Nobody knows of our secret and hence cannot touch it. We hit highs and lows, because without lows there are no highs. And once in a while, a gracious destiny leads our paths to another crossroads where we can touch our soul mate and turn our imagination to realty. Its mystery has the power to keep the wings of love soaring into the sky where we can float along until we come to another crossroads.

Love is an invisible gift that keeps on giving. It comes in a simple wrapping. When we open the package we find divine sweets. Sharing them we experience their magic.

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